Welcome to GoFundYourselves! You've taken the first step towards getting what you want, and doing it responsibly. In just five minutes, you'll be ready to get funded! First, we'd like to know a bit about you.
Full Legal Name
Email Address
Living Arrangement
How self-motivated are you?
What frivolous thing do you want?
Last Updated: 2015-04-01
These conditions and terms form an implicit agreement between you, the user, (hereinafter known as the Freeloader) and GoFundYourselves, a parody website (hereinafter known as GFY). These terms supercede any applicable laws, regulations or verbal agreements between you and any party located on the third planet from Sol (hereinafter known as Earth), and failure to abide by these terms will result in social exclusion, an angry glare or a lifeterm term of imprisonment.
Third parties that seek to assist Freeloaders in assisting their goals are not bound by the terms of this site, but if they choose to repeatedly assist the Freeloader, these third parties may be known as Suckers.
Goals or requirements described by a Freeloader that have yet to be obtained despite contributions from multiple Suckers are hereby defined as Scams.
GFY is a website tailored exclusively towards users that are freeloading, financial irresponsible, callous, disingenuous or actively seeking to defraud their community. If you are a responsible person, are looking to sell merchandise with a market value, have had a financial or medical emergency, or are not seeking to abuse your friends, you are not eligible to sign up for GFY.
Under no circumstance will GFY make any monetary contribution to a Freeloader, nor is the Freeloader eligible to request that Suckers make a contribution towards their goals.
If a Freeloader engages in Scams, the Freeloader must make repayments to the Sucker within 90 days of the Scam being called out on any form of social media. The repayments must be made in bad faith, tendered in a currency undergoing severe inflation (ZWD or GRD recommended), and not be made until at least three (3) promises have been made by the Freeloader to the Sucker that the repayments are already "on there way" (sic.) and that "(Freeloader's parent) wouldn't let me until I did my homework".
Under no circumstances will GFY be held responsible or otherwise accountable for the actions of the Freeloader. These services are provided on an "as-is" basis, without any guarantee or warranty of servicability, quality, uptime, literary value or humour. Use of the services is at the user's own risk, and the user waives any right to sue anybody for any particular purpose. The user further agrees that uppercase text is thoroughly unreadable in any legal contract, and agrees to never speak in legalese.
The user understands and agrees that these terms CAN and WILL change on a vaguely regular basis, and further agrees to abide by this and any past or future terms, especially when those terms are contradictory.
These terms are to be read and enforced under the terms of unoccupied territory on Antarctica. Three penguins will be selected to serve on the arbitration panel in the event of a disagreement. Their waddling and squabbling calls will form the sole, binding result of the arbitration panel.
Friends don't let friends freeload! We're taking the piss, in case you hadn't already noticed.